Writing With Voice

Our 2J students have been working on really trying to write with a strong use of “voice”. Today we created a Voice Checklist to help us. We looked at a sample of writing that didn’t have much voice to it; it left us wanting more. Here it is:

Original Sample

The grade 2J’s created a checklist to help with adding more “voice”:

Voice

Using the checklist, the 2Js rewrote the sample and came up with this:

2J Sample with Voice

Do you think the 2J edited sample has a lot more voice to it?  Please comment to tell us how the 2J sample sounds better!

 

 

 

 

 

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One thought on “Writing With Voice

  1. Hi gr. 2J-I was just reading your writing sample.

    I noticed you don’t have boring words in your writing. Words like fantastic and exciting are not boring words!

    I noticed some feeling words like: exciting, boring and dull.

    You end your writing with a question, this gets the reader thinking about your writing. This makes the reader think about their own schema for your writing topic.

    Personally, I don’t mind one rainy day because that forces me to stay inside and get some things that I need to get done inside. Rainy days don’t always keep me inside though. Last year during the Blackfalds Family fun run it rained during the whole 10K run. My daughter and I ran it and actually it was fun running in the rain. We sure ran through some huge puddles.

    Have a great weekend everyone,

    Mr. W.

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